This I Believe: Pride Steers Passion

Today I played my first 9-hole golf game ever. It was absolutely amazing. Spectacular, spectacular, practically perfect, absolutely amazing. Enjoyable, motivating and surprisingly soul-filling. The whole time I kept wondering how did this happen?

As it was four days ago, I absolutely detested golf. A plethera of baggage, detail and rules. My top three nemeses. My loathing, Everest and dejection, respectively. I loathe carrying around heavy things. The golf bag seemed so bulky and heavy and yuck. With very little strength in my body, I might as well have been required to pick up the golf cart and carry it around the course. On to my Everest: conquering detail. Truly, truly I say to you... I could care less. Yes, there are times when I absolutely pour myself into the details of a project but it is always to a certain point and over the years I have noticed that I reach this point much sooner than my peers. If it were a finish line, I would win every time. Be it a cooking, cleaning or work project I am famous for 'It'll be fine', which means I have nothing left. Brain capacity to hold or create information is now 0% and descending into frustration and depression. The time it takes to reach this point will vary depending on the project, people affected by my work and how many people will judge me in the end. (It's true. I care.) But in the end, I always cross that finish line. Everyone has an end. For me it is when Coach Detail pushes Perfection to take the field. Mostly, she is not feeling well and It'll be fine subs in to throw the entire game. Lastly, those stinkin' rules. It dejects me to have to follow so many rules. Watch your form, watch your ball, pitch it, chip it, putt it, drive it, birdie, bunker, handicap, par this, par that... Par you. Oh and BONUS: you are responsible for everything. No team, no collaboration, no one. Yup, you. The Golf Idiot. The overall feeling was horrid. You are terrible at math and you cannot play golf? Give me your Korean; you don't deserve it.

So how did this happen? How did I go from loathing to loving so quickly? Just gave it a try? Maybe. Infatuation with something new? Doubt it. Power of pride? YES. In other words, I was actually good! Cue bewildered expression. Well, I was not terrible. Better yet, I was not an idiot. Must say it feels great every time I discover this. Not being an idiot, having a couple of good shots (Gootshyat! as Papa Park says) and feeling able to wrap my head around Everything Golf has given power to my pride. This must be good pride, if there is such a thing. On the course, chips are not food, pitches are not beer breaks and Golf is not a monster trying to bring me down. Let us take a happy sprinkle break.

Bring it, Pops.

I believe some passions are awake at the moment we enter this world. Things you know about yourself, things you know you love, these are the passions in our DNA. We cannot deny them and they are evident in our livelihood. Or at the very least our browser history. Other passions, I believe, have to be awakened. Once awakened these new passions also become part of our livelihood. Pride may be the one to awaken, as in my case with golf. I can imagine other introductions from friends, family or YouTube stir up our enthusiasm. However it comes to be, I believe these secondary passions are driven by pride and continue on as long our pride in them continues to prosper. Or self-destruct. I have watched Devil's Advocate enough times to know that pride is never a good thing in the end, however well-intentioned its birth. Still, I believe there is a layer of pride beneath the passions we take on. To the good, this layer is a cushion, softening the blows to our ego and the mockery our self-confidence often endures when we grow to love something. To the evil, this layer is flamable poison seeking to annihilate inspiration, hope and all in its path, the destructive spark igniting both at the first sign of adversity and at the peak of Mt. Ego.

Pride steers passion. To heights or depths indeterminable.



That said, I believe only the Cross has the power to wield our pride, good and not good. When I can turn everything I have in my heart towards the ground, surrendering everything grand, anything I love and whatever I enjoy at His feet, that layer beneath it all will have no say in my life because my passions will not define me and my pride will not renew me. Pride may steer passion, yes, but His will steers my life. Knowing this, I can play, lose and still enjoy my sprinkled ice cream. He is spectacular, perfect and amazing.



Pictures:
Golf Thursdays
Darth Sprinkles