When my kids found out we weren’t having any kind of celebration
in school for my birthday, they were pretty confused. “So what are we doing for
your birthday?” Nothing. “Why? But
it’s a birthday! Why?? AWWW!!!” In the short three weeks of school, we have
already celebrated four birthdays in my Kindergarten classroom. They’ve had
cupcakes, cookies, and popsicles… and most of these little guys didn’t even eat
touch their treats. So “aw!” you say but there ain’t no way that I’m giving you
more sugar to throw away…
Plus, I forgot.
As part of the birthday celebration, I call the birthday kid up
and ask them to share any goals they have for this year. Do you have any new goals or ideas now that you’re five/six years old? Yesterday,
adorable, little Mr. J said “Now that I’m six, I think I really want to have
the Jedi defender class cruiser. I think it’ll be really fun and since I’m six now
I’ll really do it well.” (Had to ask him to repeat that almost four times. Then
I had to look it up. Lego, you are robbers disguised as toy-makers. Shame on
you!)
It’s interesting to imagine what goals or hopes I had when I was a kid. Much like adorable, little Mr. J, I mostly treasured
things and stuff. Now that I’m old, though, now that I know better…
There’s a Tim Keller sermon podcast called "Born into Hope"
that has truly blessed me this week. Like most of his sermons, this one is poignant
and rich with metaphors, illustrations, and the Word. Challenge and
encouragement drip from each and every word in this sermon like water from a
leaky faucet. Or perhaps a Living faucet? Actually, it drips more like the
sweat drips from those of us in LA who endure this heat wave without A/C.
Drip, drip, drip.
Two points in the sermon have been on my mind. One is that life
only has meaning if we have a hope and a meaning that suffering and even death
cannot destroy. [Keller goes on to explain] The foundation of your personality is
your hope. Ultimately the hope of your heart completely determines how you
handle your 'now'. The other point is that "sorrow kicks on the joy like
the cold kicks on the heat." When you are born into hope that is living
and therefore above any circumstance you find yourself in, your sorrow can actually
drive you into your joy. Into your living hope, which is Christ. I suspect these points will continue to 'show up' in my prayers
and quiet times. God does a lot of redirecting and reteaching with me. To say 'It takes me a while' is just lying. I have this amazing
gift of forgetting anything and everything important. It's great these points are written here and now immortalized on this super secure vault of thoughts, a vault wisely named ‘things’.
Moving to LA has been much lonelier and therefore more sorrowful than I ever could have imagined. Seems like a dramatic thing to say, I know, which just goes to show how self-centered I’ve become in my short-but-feels-long time in Lonely World I mean Los Angeles. I have allowed myself to be completely and constantly sad. And I have forgotten that this was an adventure Dan and I were both called to take. That I wasn’t dragged here against my will but that I signed up for it willingly and with excitement. This sermon has been both a kick in the pants and a loving hug. When I ask myself Where or in what do you put your hope? there are two honest answers. One reveals my sin and the other reveals my Savior. I can only hope, and my husband and I can only pray, that one begins to consume the other. That this incredible sadness from being so far from my sister and my dear friends will soon be obsolete. For as much as I treasure and love them… there is something greater still. Though I didn’t share it with my students, I, too, have a goal “now that I’m six”. In all occasions of sorrow, joy, loneliness, and company, my goal is to live by the living and indestructible hope I have in Christ.
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Luke 12:34
