Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Driving Miss Minnie

“Don’t forget to repark the car!” This my husband calls out to me as he leaves the house to be a productive American. Little does he know of the inner meltdown I experience at the mention of this small task: move my car from one side of the road to the other. It’s like my brain is sweating. Or on fire. Or crying. That must be it. My brain is crying.

Our road is quiet. An average of 1-3 cars pass our road every two hours. Piece of cake. I complete my K-turn flawlessly only to realize that I K-turned too soon. It’s ok-turn. Just back up a few yards to get into the spot you want… GO AWAY, CAR BEHIND ME. WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? I wonder for a second if apparition is real…

No. Only in England.

… Long story short, I survived. I drove around the block, reparked my AUBS*, and avoided a ticket. Success. Now I want to go to Trader Joe’s.

As they say in the movie Spanglish, “gulp.”

Yesterday I drove to a nearby mall. It was an easy drive, some of you might say. No major highways or big roads. Just three turns and you're there. It was fine. I just needed to walk around for 20 minutes to calm myself down. There was a moment when I truly didn’t know how I was going to get home. I also set off my car alarm but didn't recognize that it was mine. Note to self: your car hates you. By some miracle, the Lord brought me home safely yesterday and I pray that he will do it again today. Because today… I need to go to Trader Joe’s. Dan needs milk and I need wine. If I don’t go to Trader Joe’s today, I will become that old lady who only knows how to go to the post office and the grocery store. In my case, not even that. I will be the old lady who only knows how to go around the block.

Dan says prayer and practice will eventually make the fear go away. So Lord, I pray for the spirit of Joshua, the wisdom of Solomon, and the peace of Jesus. Also, may I turn off my left blinker this time instead of driving with it on for almost 1 mile. And may all those other drivers be in good moods today. Amen.



Prize for safe driving?

* AUBS: Awesome Ugly-Blue Saturn

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